I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
