Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
