My friends, they love my intelligence
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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