i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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