Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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