she was so not down for the gang bang
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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