your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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