im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize