Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize