If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm bleeding and have questions
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
