i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
