he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
