all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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