when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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