I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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