do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
