i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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