you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
