I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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