I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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