Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
