I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
