he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
