Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
