you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude i'm inner monologue high
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
