Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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