We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want her autograph on my taint
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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