C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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