Is it because I queefed?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
