Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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