Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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