Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
