Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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