I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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