anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize