Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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