so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
