I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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