Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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