So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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