Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
