So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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