My friends, they love my intelligence
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize