so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Let's paint friendship bongs
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
