We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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