On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
