I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
