The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
