so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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