Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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