the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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