All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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