I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
