Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
