There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
this hospital has no fireball
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
