she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
