This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
