i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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