There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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