And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
