Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
