At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize