By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
