I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Terrible idea I love it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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