I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Alive.
So much puke
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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