Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
