Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
