she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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