I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
