I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
