i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
