3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
