So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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