i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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